Pure Toga Swag
Hopefully by now you have all read my post today over at Bitter Lawyer (if not read it here). I still firmly believe the day after the Super Bowl should be a holiday. It is spent working off the incredible spread of food we had yesterday (pulled pork; wings; meatballs; guac it out). Personally, I am just going to spend some extra time at the gym tonight working on my fitness like the tightrope guy last night. I suppose I could just slap on some Sauna Pants and lounge around the house. Nonetheless, for the most part today has been pretty good except somehow an international phone call from Greece got dropped and I don’t know how to reconnect. P.S. did I mention the Law Office of Douglas A. Stephan assist clients through the United States and around the world? In fact, according to my webhost I am huge in the Ukraine. I like to believe Oksana Baiul loves my prose.
Speaking of international, meet Ioana “The Human Hourglass” Spangenber. The Romanian model boast a rather unique attribute: 32-20-32. Wait. What? That is not the measurement’s Sir Mix A-lot was talking about. Even though she looks like bad Photoshop picture the 20-inch waist is supposedly “all natural.” She has to be missing an organ or something right? No chance there would have been room for my Super Bowl food spread for Ioana. Nonetheless, she is using what the good lord gave her to make some bread; I just wish she would eat some.
Maybe The Human Hourglass is a fan of dessert. However Ioana should not try to take Erik “Eggs” Cain’s brownie. Eggs and his brother Gene were at McDonald’s when they got into an argument after Gene tried to cut the treat in half. Eggs did not like that very much as he picked up three steak knives and stabbed Gene three times. Gene, having stab wounds in his forearm, shoulder and wrist, responded by picking up a television and throwing it at Eggs. However, the Eggs were runny as Erik fled only later to be poached and charged with aggravated assault, reckless endangerment, harassment and disorderly conduct.
I know what you are thinking; “since when does McDonald’s have brownies?” Well my friends I don’t know. Normally I am an expert in the fast food game but this one even surprised me. Perhaps it is because I haven’t stepped foot into a McDonalds in a long time. I’m not saying I haven’t eaten McDonalds, but when it comes to my golden arches its drive-thru only. The inside of a McDonald’s is a different story. They try to advertise like it’s a guy and a girl splitting a large fry and sweet tea while on their first date. Building a relationship over a discussion of the best dipping sauce for the chicken nug nugs. But in reality its guys like Eggs Cain with freaking steak knives. A true pit of despair. Sorry Ronald but I’m not lovin’ it.
P.S. Since this is Fashion Monday I guess this question relates. Do you think the kids in the 3rd world countries that receive all the losing team’s Super Bowl shirts know that the team lost? Is there some guy who thinks the Bills were an unstoppable dynasty in the early ’90s or do they understand that just because the T-shirt says champions isn’t actually the case.
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