I have waited to post until after Valentine’s Day because I just new all the dumb criminals would come out of the woodwork. There are few things that make people do really dumb things and love is definitely one of them. Nonetheless, I wrote on Monday over at Bitter Lawyer about planning a great Valentine’s Day however some people apparently didn’t read my advice.
Take for example Nikolas Harbar and Stephanie Pelzner. These two lovebirds were arrested after police found Stephanie bound and nude in the back of Nikolas’ Subaru. Apparently, Pelzner and Harbar wanted to engage in a little role-playing on the most romantic night of the year. Most people might wear a nice outfit after sitting in some stuffy overpriced restaurant drinking a $75.00 bottle of wine that taste the same as a box of Franzia. That sort of thing just doesn’t appeal to Pelzner and Harbar. Instead the two decided tying up Pelzner, while naked and placing duct tape over her mouth would be a better idea. To each his own but I would suggest not making a stop at the market if this is your plan. Witnesses reported seeing Harbar’s Subaru in the parking lot of the market with Pelzner bound, tied and naked in the back. While the couple says they were “just having fun,” police didn’t agree as they were charged with disorderly conduct.
And you think you were a romantic. Try getting arrested while expressing your love. However, as an attorney I would advise against this as rape, even fake rape, is not funny. Unless Antoino Dodson is talking about it. Nonetheless, there is always someone like Nikolas trying to one up you on Valentine’s Day. We are all just playing checkers while Nikolas is playing chess.
Speaking of guys always trying to one-up everyone. Everybody has a friend like the guy in the following story. People are sitting around having a good time at a party and there is always one guy who wants to take it too far. Always trying to be the bell of the ball. Some people think they are awesome because they can (or at least try) to drink more than everyone at the party. Some people challenge everyone to an arm wresting contest because they think the world needs more people with overly strong forearms. They don’t. Popeye was cool… you are not. If you are trying to impress the ladies at the party it’s not working. No girl likes the overly drunk guy complaining his arm hurts all night until he passes out in the corner. Then there are Russians. Take for example this homeowner who “got a big kitchen knife and asked his guest to stab him in the stomach.” The host claimed his abs were so strong the knife would not be able to penetrate his stomach. The guest obliged his humble host and now the Russian is in the hospital with a serious stomach wound. What might be even crazier is that the guest has been charged with causing serious bodily injury and could face up to eight years imprisonment. When keeping it real Russian goes wrong, I guess. The only person who should be charged is the Russian Situation. Party tricks are awesome; being the guy who asks people to stab him in the stomach isn’t.