As always, feel free to check out my Bitter Lawyer post from earlier this week. (Read Here). As usual, it’s an array of the stupid criminals and lawsuits in the nation. It’s been a big week for the U.S. of A. Nothing starts a week better than the old super spy bombing threat last second kibosh. Double agent city. Then TSA gets some good news(ish) when they found gun parts and ammunition hidden inside a 4-year-old’s stuffed animals. Obviously the fact that there were guns and ammunition in stuffed animals is bad, but a huge win for Homeland security. I hate when people complain about TSA. Sure it sucks to fly and have to wear loafers (so 2004) and get felt up by some sweaty overweight guy, but it’s a lot better than being blown up. I have always said airlines need two flights. One is a usual one where you go through TSA searches and the other with no restrictions and no scans of any sort. Have fun booking that flight complainers.
However, today might top all of them. Let’s start with Keithan Manuel. Mr. Manuel, whose first name, I can only assume, was the result of one parent wanting Keith and the other wanting Nathan, is in a Dallas County Jail facing several charges. Luckily for police, the commute wasn’t very far to arrest Keithan since he tried to rob the police station.
The Police Station.
Manuel, 18, entered the Police Department with a towel covering his hands and demanded money. While Manuel didn’t actually have a weapon, he did state to dispatcher Patrice Hughey, “You know I have a gun, right?” Police quickly responded, and by that I mean stood up at their desk, and were able to subdue Manuel. Keithan claims he was just joking but is still being held in jail on the burglary charge. I don’t even think a lawyerly tip is needed here.
Everyone who is a regular reader knows my distaste/love for idiotic 9-1-1 phone calls. Well let’s add another one to the Hall of Fame list. Clyde Hobbs called emergency operators in Oklahoma at least 17 times in one day. Hobbs’ emergency… his desire for a 911 booty call. Ding Ding Ding. We have a winner. Forget calling those 1-800 numbers when you can just call 911 and get some sexy talk. When cops arrived Hobbs stated, “Are you here to arrest me again?”
Swag. All you can say about Clyde Hobbs. Other than he has a fantastic name. His mugshot gives the boogeyman the creeps. Without question he is the scary neighbor Finsterwald from Maniac Magee. “I don’t always call 911, but when I do, I call for dirty talk.”