We’re back! After a writing hiatus, I have actually found some time in my schedule to write some prose. I have been regularly writing at Bitter Lawyer (read Monday’s Post here) and will begin writing regularly again for all of my fantastic readers. Thus, without further adieu, let me drop some legal knowledge on you through idiotic Internet stories.
A NYC couple is suing their former apartment building for money they had to spend on takeout while their gas was turned off. Beverly Taki and Louis Maione, claim they were forced to spend $27,000 on takeout food while their gas was out for 10 months. While the couple was paying a $5,700 monthly maintenance fee for their apartment, there was no work done to remedy the situation.
Personally I love food. I love to cook and eat and everything in between regarding food. However, I don’t even think I could order $27,000 bucks worth of take out in 10 months. From my rough calculations, that is approximately $90 bucks a day in take out. That is a lot of Chinese food and Za. Don’t get me wrong, I love the hustle by these two old timers, but 27 grand on food might be one of the most ridiculous things I have heard in a while. And that is saying something.
My loyal readers know my number one rule: Don’t drink and drive. Its bad news for you, and its bad news for everyone else. Just remember Bill Gunman’s Gun and Knife Show: “Call a buddy, bring a friend (who will be a designated driver.)” Matthew Tesson, didn’t get this message. Tesson, 46, was jailed after driving to a police station and demanding to be arrested because he was drunk. Tesson also had a suspended license and police found 10 different prescription pills in his car.
Ok two things. First, isn’t 46 a little old to still be called Matthew? Once you stop playing with blocks you stop being called Matthew. Second, I get that DARE taught you to take responsibility for your actions but that is Rule number 2. Rule number 1 is to not do them in the first place. A lot of people have had that feeling the next day, saying “I’m never going to do that again.” But they normally will do it again the next weekend. Matthew tried to take responsibility for himself while not being responsible.
FINALLY STEPHEN A. ARCENEAUX III, HAS COME BACK, TO WRESTLEMANIA. Unfortunately it didn’t last long. Arceneaux, was killed when his 14-year-old cousin choked him out while performing a “rear naked choke hold” during a Wrestlemania 28 party. Witnesses reported that Arceneaux did not “tap out.” That’s not surprising. No chance you are getting a tap out from me either. I’m not saying it would be fun to die, but there is no chance I am giving my cousin, who is ten years younger and weighs almost half as much as me, the satisfaction of making me tap out. Apparently Arceneaux didn’t say his prayers and take his vitamins. I would probably go Hulk Hogan style and not let my arm drop the third time the ref checks it. Hulkamania to the max.